DEALING WITH A MARRIAGE WITH NO INTIMACY

Forgetting that I am a 73-year-old faith-driven Christian woman, speaking to my girlfriends, regardless of their religious beliefs, I have learned from them that there are many reasons why intimacy in a marriage may fade.

The problem I have is there are far too many for me to list here. Yet, at the same time, I have learned from their experiences that just because intimacy has dwindled in their marriages doesn’t translate into a marriage being doomed. This is because one needs to remember that you cannot equate having no intimacy with having no sex with your partner.

The lack of either one could be somewhat disconcerting or quite problematic, and both need to be handled differently. While the lack of sex requires no further explanation, the lack of intimacy might simply involve caressing each other, holding hands, kissing, or even just talking to one another. Determining what component is missing from the marriage in question is essential in tackling the issue and resolving it quicker.

Without the closeness that once might have been present in a relationship due to a distant feeling that either one might possess or the disappearance of the once-present physical relationship of intimacy, the source of the lack of intimacy might be found.

The possibility of the nonexistence of sex might also be the source of the intimacy problem. Regardless of the source of the issue, different things can be done to attempt to rekindle intimacy in a marriage and different ways to cope with its lack in a marriage.

• Start by talking to your partner about the lost connection:

• Choose an agreeable time to talk

• Make time to listen.

• If the issue is sex, then ascertain its importance to your happiness.

Sex can be a deal-breaker? As it needs to be approached cautiously. Serious questions must be asked and answered in any discussion by each partner, questions like:

• How much sex is enough?
• How much is too much?
• Why do you want or don’t want sex?

If it is determined that the issue is a medical one, then you should seek the help of a doctor to address the issue.

FORGIVING A BULLY__DEVOTION #3

Growing up as a teenage Christian girl, given my appearance, I wound up getting bullied regularly. And if this has ever occurred to you, I know precisely how you felt. You wound up asking yourself the same question I did back then. You’ve asked yourself: “How can I love my enemies and pray for those who mistreat me?”

So, if you have, I know it’s not an easy thing to get through, especially as a teenager.

If you have told your family or friends you hate the person who’s bullying you at school, then you probably said that you hate them out of anger and frustration.

If not, then perhaps you said that you hate them out of fear. Being a 73-year-old faith-driven Christian woman, old even to be your grandmother, I want you to know there is a challenging Scriptural verse to swallow in the Bible: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute, in other words, mistreat you.

Hearing this, I can imagine that you’re thinking, “That’s outrageous. Why would I ever want to do this? They’re hurting me, and I want to want to hurt them back, for I remember reading in Exodus, “An eye for an eye.”

My telling you to pray for your enemies is something I know you’re finding it difficult to understand.

Instead of hating someone because of what they’ve done to you, I would try telling them how they’ve hurt you. Follow this by telling them, “I’m praying that your day gets better.”

This should catch that person off guard, as it will completely stun them into silence when you say you’re praying for them. If need be, you can ask the Lord to help you pray for anyone who is bullying you, as it will also help heal your emotional wounds. As an example, the next time you’re bullied, try saying this prayer: “Lord, please help me to want to pray for those who persecute me.”

In turning to the words of the Lord, I know that,

[43] “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’

[44] But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,

MATTHEW 5:43-44 [NKJV]

IT’S ALL ABOUT COMPASSION // CHRISTIAN WOMAN DISCUSSION #7

As Christian women, one of the best ways we can summarize the overall sense of compassion is to seek out appropriate scripture as we thank our Lord and Savior for what He has given us.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

2 CORINTHIANS 1:3-4 | NKJV

All of the problems any individual can suffer from, like despairing over the loss of a loved one, not receiving the fulfillment of a dream, being heartbroken, or feeling lonely, can be remedied if they receive a little compassion from us according to their needs.

It goes without saying that each of us who is a believer in our faith has a friend in the Lord, a friend who will always be there for us, especially when we need Him the most. A friend we can always count on for comfort and support in the gloomiest and most distressing moments of our lives with His never heartfelt compassion, which need to be sharing as Christian women.

We need to remember, while it is the Lord that we all turn to when we require compassion, it is scripture that reminds us of the following:

“Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous.”

1 PETER 3:8 [NKJV]

And because of this, I believe all of us should follow what we are being told to do according to the following:

“Sing, O heavens! Be joyful, O earth! And break out in singing, O mountains! For the LORD has comforted His people, And will have mercy on His afflicted.”

ISAIAH 49:13 [NKJV]

So, as the sisters-in-Christ we are, let us all show our compassion for those who are in need, just as the Lord has shown His compassion for us.

Have a BLESSED WEEK, with everything you’re planning on doing, especially if it involves something for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I’d love for everyone to leave their comments, as I’d love to know if I could continue to post discussions like this.

WINNING THE MARRIAGE GAME IS A DESIRE WE, AS CHRISTIAN WOMEN, WANT TO ACHIEVE IN OUR LIVES

Being a 73-year-old faith-driven Christian woman who has created a small online ministry, I want all of my sisters-in-Christ to remember that the Lord’s presence is the key essential item in the relationship between a husband and his wife. Unfortunately, some individuals allow their hearts to rule their minds when it comes to falling in love, which causes them to rush into marriage with that person blindly. At the same time, there are individuals whose minds rule their hearts, and they rush into marriage because they believe that it’s the proper thing to do, yet there’s no real love for that other person.

Given the vast multitudes of personalities that exist between men and women, two individuals can’t really mesh together 100% correctly. There needs to exist some compromise between the two, and within this act of compromising, occasionally, couples might encounter incidents where anguish and disagreement rule the day. Unfortunately, there’s no single book designed to give individuals detailed information about how something should be done when these incidences arise, with the exception of one, which is the book written by the Lord, that is due to the fact that He is the one who had created the institution of marriage.

When you come down to the fundamental characteristics influencing the quality of married life, you have nine.

1] DECLARATION of what is really pleasing.

2] RESPECT of each other.

3] HUMBLENESS in possessing humility.

4] ROMANCE in taking care of things lovingly.

5] UNCONDITIONAL LOVE of possessing it without reason.

6. EXPECTATIONS: having them leads to disappointments.

6. SPIRITUAL WARFARE: be prepared for things lurking in the background.

7. VIRTUE vs VICE: the old story of good versus evil.

9. PERSONAL GROWTH of improving one’s self to please the other.

In regards to marriage itself, I have come to learn what we need to know is written look at EPHESIANS 5:28-33 [NKJV]:

28] So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.

29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

30] For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

31] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32]This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33] Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own Have a BLESSED WEDNESDAY and success in winning the marriage game in your lives.

COMMUNICATION TIPS #2 – OPENNESS

As a Christian woman being married for 30+ years to my dear OH, I have learned there is far more than one facet to what is called communication, which comprises most of the secrets of successful marriages, as well as many of the devastating marriage failures.

A successful marriage, from my experience, involves the swapping of information in couples without any attempt to hurt one another. I happen to be overweight, and if my OH would dare to say something like, “What you are wearing makes you look fat.” I would hate it and probably might slap his face hard.” On the other hand, if he would say something like, “How about wearing your dark blue pants when we go out for dinner tonight? Those pants compliment your figure. I would tend to give him a tender kiss.

So, here is a tip that will aid in your communication with your spouse.

OPENNESS

Those little spats you might experience in your marriage can lead ultimately to a destructive blow up which either you or your spouse or even both of you will regret. Do not hold back in saying what needs to be said before it becomes a tension making episode. My spouse has habits that drives me totally crazy which I need to keep reminding the dear not to do. If I didn’t, and I would allow it to continue to aggravate me, I might wind up doing something I will live to regret.

So, my dear sisters-in-Christ, let us keep the peace in our marriages by applying communication tips in our marriages.

WHAT IS THIS THING WE CALL INTIMACY? – PART 2

Intimacy itself can come in different forms, which is something that needs to be understood; the two most important ones when it comes to marriage are physical and emotional intimacy.

When it comes to emotional intimacy, each party needs to open up to their partner and tell them things about themselves that they would never dare share with anyone else. This sharing is the sense of trust and acceptance that they share and cannot have with anyone who is a stranger. The pinnacle of true emotional intimacy happens when they feel safe and accepted in their marriage and are free to share their thoughts and inner feelings with their partner.

When it comes to intimacy, sexual intimacy differs from physical intimacy, yet it includes many of the same attributes. Physical intimacy, just like sexual intimacy, involves closeness through touching but doesn’t necessitate the actual act of sex itself.

In contrast, sexual intimacy involves the act of making love to your partner through touching each other.  Basically, you can be physically intimate by holding hands or cuddling, but sexual intimacy involves the actual act of sex. Given this, while couples are no longer sexually active, they are still quite intimate with each other. At the same time, couples are engaging in sex without any sense of being intimate. This is why finding the appropriate balance in a couple’s relationship is vital to its longevity. Although for some couples, sex might be important, it does not have to be everything. What is important is the presence of honesty.

In addition to emotional and sexual intimacy, we also have to consider items such as sharing ideas through intellectual intimacy. And then there’s spiritual intimacy, where couples open their hearts to each other, much in the same manner individuals open their hearts to the Lord. Lastly, let’s not forget engaging in some leisure activities where we find couples experiencing experiential intimacy.

All of these types of intimacies are present in the marriages of all couples. They are important to their relationships at various levels to form the totality of their marriages ultimately. Both sexes will have their individual preference as to what they desire, and each needs to understand each other’s preferences to build their relationship best.

SUPPLICATION TO OUR LORD AND SAVIOR #19

You are invited to consider becoming part of my online ministry where I post a supplication to our Lord and Savior every Sunday and Christian holiday. I used to post them here, but with ministry being created I felt it would be more appropriate if I would post them there. I would like to expand the kind of posts I do here, but I need to increase my following here. This is what I posted on my ministry’s Facebook group today.

Since today is Sunday, the Lord’s Day, and my being a 73-year-old faith-driven Christian woman, and even more since becoming the Creator and Founder of R L Morgan Ministry, where I am devoting my service to the Lord by being its preacher, I believe this would be the perfect time for us to offer supplication to His glorious name. And here is the supplication I’m suggesting that we offer Him today:

Equally, for the first and the last generations, this faith is good and valid forever and ever; it is true and trustworthy, a law that will not pass away. True it is that you are the Lord our God and God of our ancestors, our King and King of our ancestors, our Redeemer and Redeemer of our ancestors, our Maker and saving Stronghold, our Deliverer and Rescuer. Our Lord is eternal; there is no God but you.

For this, the beloved people praised and extolled the Lord; they offered hymns, blessings, and thanksgivings to the King, the living and eternal God. He is high and exalted, great and revered; he brings low the arrogant, and raises up the lowly; he frees the captives and delivers the afflicted, he helps the poor, and answers his people when they cry out to Him. Praise be the supreme God, be he forever blessed.

And with that, let us all answer, AMEN !!! 😊😊😊

Please feel free to share this post with others so they can come and join us so this ministry can grow and offer more to its members and families.

I hope each of you who are reading this will have a BLESSED SUNDAY with your families from me and my dear OH of the past 30 years !!! 😊😊😊

Sister-in-Christ Robin Leigh

Creator/Founder

R L Morgan Ministry

https://www.facebook.com/groups/298362139400043

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